It's written for middle/upper class parents who have somehow managed to find themselves with nearly no idea how adolescent development works. This book is a huge ray of hope for me, there's a saying that goes: "it takes a village to raise a child" however, to raise a teenager it surely takes more than just a village.

They are struggling silently, in a world that is too competitive, surrounded by a perfectionistic culture, and because their brains develop later and differently from girls’ brains (and the school system is biased towards a learning style that suits girls more than boys in general- encouraged by sitting in rows, teacher led learning), the boys feel overwhelmed. It’s a lot of nice thoughts but my child is failing out of high school and letting him isn’t really an option. He explains why nagging and over-parenting simply exacerbates this issue, and how stepping back and giving boys more autonomy can help them become more self-directed and find their footing. He covers so much that I have heard over the years: executive functioning, growth mindset, gender differences, scaffolding, etc.The demands on a teenager today are more intense than when we were teenagers, mostly in the academic sense.

While a completely agree that we need to keep investigating gender differences both in brain biology, behavior and the like, and that such differences exist his approach was gross. It offered some solid advice and some that I thought to be a bit unrealistic, although it may be realistic for other kids (like writing their feelings in a journal… a great idea but I’m not sure it applies to the kids he’s talking about). He's Not Lazy' is the first book to address this problem, to help parents understand the underlying issues affecting their sons and to offer a constructive alternative to fights and fruitless bouts of negotiation. Also, and importantly, they have some kind of issues where they are super immersed in their kid's life, like they get all their self-esteem from their kids accomplishments. And if you fall into what I perceive to be a very narrow strip of the population, you will probably find this a very helpful book.There were several things I didn’t agree with due to the authors views which didn’t align with my (biblical) worldview; however, there was enough practical insight that I still found this book helpful in understanding the valid, underlying reasons that cause adolescent boys to appear lazy or become unmotivated. Parents, college students, teachers, and psychologists will gain a better understanding of the problem and know how to help teen boys who are going through it have a successful school career. They give up, not because they are lazy but because they don’t have the skills and brain ‘executive functions’ yet to cope. I would not recommend this book to any parents who are dealing with teenagers with severe mental health issues or substance abuse.

Highly recommended if you have a teenage son - if you don't, you won't find much of interest or application here. Overall valid advice for raising any teenager but had some insights and suggestions that are more relevant to teenage boys. If you recognise this behaviour pattern in your child, then I would first of all encourage you to read ‘He’s Not Lazy’ for yourself, as it is accessible, sensible and practical, but I will try to summarise the key approaches to managing the situation here.

This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness.

To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. The advice given might not work for every situation, but as a parent who also speaks to a lot of other parents, it carries validity for some situations. Full of easy-to-understand explanations of scientific and developmental information that is absolutely necessary to understand, the second half of the book offers some really practical ideas and applications. While he can't claim to know your experience and your child, he is pretty bang on with his analogy of the teen boy. Getting teenagers into a routine is a topic that frequently comes up in my discussions with parents of teenagers.There are some really wonderful and wonderfully presented strategies that I will use with students and likely the 16yo in my house. Appearing like he's "too cool for school" means he doesn't need to face all this pressure, or have people find out he really isn't that smart. There’s nothing quite as irritating as being the parent of a “lazy” teenager— nagging, micromanaging and all.